Should I pray for a Spouse
For some reason, talking about wanting a spouse—especially in Christian circles—can feel taboo, like it’s a sign of spiritual weakness or impatience.”
There’s nothing shameful, unspiritual, or desperate about bringing your desire for a spouse to God in prayer.
Yes, all you single ladies and men out there, there is absolutely nothing wrong with praying for a spouse. Psalm 37:4 states– “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” God knows the desires of our hearts, so bringing your desires to God is an act of trust, not desperation.
My journey of Faith and Love
From the time I was little, growing up in a close-knit, loving family, I always knew I wanted to have the same kind of bond that my parents shared.
Growing up, I was really close to my mom. She was such a strong example for me, and I naturally found myself wanting to follow in her footsteps.
My dad was just as inspiring in his own way—a true family man. No matter what, he always put my mom and us kids first when making any decision. And when I say “kids,” I mean all seven of us! He worked incredibly hard to make sure we were all taken care of.
My dad wasn’t just a great provider—he was loving, present, and the first person who really introduced me to God and the Catholic faith. Because of that, I grew up knowing one thing for sure: I wanted a husband like my father.
Even as a kid, I would daydream about the kind of man I might marry one day. Funny enough, I never had a clear picture of what he’d look like—but I always knew the kind of heart he’d have. I wished for someone loving, committed, family-oriented, kind, and grounded in his Christian faith. In so many ways, I was hoping for a man with the same beautiful qualities my dad had.
Great expectations
I met my husband in 2011. But a few years before that, I made a big decision—I wanted to really get to know me. So, I went on a bit of a self-discovery journey. I stayed single for a while, spent time just being with myself, learning to enjoy my own company, and genuinely liking the person I was becoming.
Part of that journey took me across the world—I travelled and even spent some time living in North America. And wouldn’t you know it, not long after I came back to the UK, I met my husband… at work, of all places. The rest, as they say, is history—and maybe a story for another blog post.
I met my husband at a really pivotal point in my faith journey. It was such a significant time because, by then, I had finally discovered who I truly was—a woman made in the image of God, deeply loved by Him. And let me tell you, that realization filled me with so much joy. I had been seeking, and I had found.
The truth is, it’s hard to fully love someone else if you haven’t come to understand or love yourself first. That season of self-discovery had come to a natural, peaceful close… and just like that, a new and beautiful chapter began unfolding right in front of me.
It wasn’t until things started getting serious between us that I really began praying intentionally asking God if this was the man He had brought into my life to be my husband. And when I had a strong feeling that a proposal might be coming… well, my prayers went into overdrive!
I genuinely wanted to make the right decision, so I turned to God for clarity and peace, spending quiet times in front of the Blessed Sacrament, just sitting in His presence. I also found great comfort in turning to Our Lady—Mary, the Mother of God—and had many heartfelt conversations with both her and her Son. My prayer was simple but sincere: that God’s will would be done through whatever decision I made.
The great Ask
So, when my husband eventually asked for my hand in marriage, I said yes. And it wasn’t a hesitant or uncertain yes—it was a confident one. That confidence came from prayer, from seeking God’s guidance every step of the way.
We got engaged about a year after we first met. And as I got to know him better, it became more and more clear: the qualities I had prayed for—kindness, faith, commitment, a deep love for family—they were all there. I could see so clearly that God had been listening all along.
So yes—there’s absolutely nothing wrong with praying for a spouse. In fact, I’d encourage it. But here’s the thing: be specific about what truly matters to you. And a little word of advice? Try to look beyond the superficial. Focus on the spiritual.
For me, it wasn’t about looks, height, or how much someone earned. It was about character, values, and faith—those deep, foundational things that last. I truly believe that when we pray with the right intentions—not just for our own satisfaction, but for something that will bear good fruit—God not only hears us, He blesses us beyond what we could imagine.
Should you pray for your spouse
This question comes up a lot—whether I’m chatting with friends and family or scrolling through Christian forums: “Is it okay to pray for your spouse?” The overwhelming response? Usually, a solid yes. And I agree. In fact, I believe that any important person in your life should be prayed for.
The Bible certainly backs this up. There are over 650 mentions of prayer throughout Scripture, which speaks volumes about how central it is to our faith. One verse that has always stood out to me is Ephesians 6:18: “Pray in the Spirit at all times in every prayer and supplication.” That means there’s no wrong time, no unworthy request—just an open invitation to seek God in all things, big and small.
Jesus Himself teaches us about the power and importance of prayer—especially persistent prayer. In Luke 18:1, through the Parable of the Widow and the Unjust Judge, He encourages us to keep praying and not give up, even when answers seem delayed. It’s a reminder that God honors faith that endures.
And maybe one of the clearest signs of just how central prayer is to our lives as Catholics is when Jesus teaches His disciples the Our Father. Think about it—of all the things they could have asked Him to teach them, they asked, “Lord, teach us to pray.” That tells us everything, doesn’t it? Prayer isn’t just important—it’s essential.
If you’ve ever listened to the Bible in a Year podcast (shoutout to Father Mike Schmitz—stay tuned for an upcoming post on that!), you’ll notice just how often King David turns to God in prayer. Whether he’s facing battle, wrestling with sin, or making a major decision, David constantly seeks God’s guidance.
That dedication to prayer is something we, as Catholics, can truly learn from. David wasn’t perfect, but he was known as a man after God’s own heart—and a big part of that was his willingness to turn to God in every circumstance. Just like David, we’re invited to bring our hopes, questions, and even our relationship desires before the Lord. Seeking His will through prayer should be at the heart of every big decision we make.
Are you there God it’s Me
I mentioned in a previous post that I try to pray a daily Rosary for my boys—and I also pray for my husband every day. Most of the time, my prayers for my husband aren’t tied to a specific request. They’re more general: I pray for his protection, for God’s blessings over his life, for clarity of purpose, for guidance, and that he continues to be a strong faithful example to our children.
But there are moments when a more specific need calls for specific prayer. Maybe it’s something like trying to encourage your husband to give up smoking or make a difficult decision. In those times, I take it to God in prayer—because I know He listens, and He moves.
One verse that always encourages me in these moments is Ezekiel 36:26: “I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you. I will remove from your body a heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” It’s such a beautiful promise. If God could speak this transformation over the hearts of Israel, His chosen people, then surely He can work that same miracle in us—His children today.
We also see this in the book of Exodus, where it says God “hardened Pharaoh’s heart.” It’s a reminder that God is sovereign over even the hardest of hearts. Whether He is softening or hardening, it’s always for a greater purpose. And through prayer, we’re invited to partner with Him in that process—not to control outcomes, but to trust in His power to transform.
Should I pray for my marriage
Just to be clear—yes, we should be praying regularly, even daily, for our marriage and our family. That doesn’t mean every prayer has to be long or deeply theological. Sometimes, a short, sincere prayer of protection over your spouse, your children, or your marriage is more than enough. It’s the consistency and the heart behind it that matters.
When we’re praying for something specific, especially over time, it can be easy to feel discouraged if we don’t see immediate results. But we shouldn’t give up or grow complacent. Instead, we can rest in the quiet confidence that our Heavenly Father does hear us—and that He will answer, in His perfect timing, and according to His will.
Just like we prepare for any important moment in life, prayer also requires preparation. For example, my son recently received the Sacrament of Holy Communion (keep an eye out for an upcoming post on that!). The day was beautiful, but it didn’t happen by accident—it took weeks of planning and preparation, and by God’s grace, it was a joyful and blessed celebration.
Prayer is much the same. It’s about showing up, preparing your heart, and trusting God to meet you in that space.
Setting the scene
Prayer is such a personal thing, and everyone approaches it differently. For me, preparing to pray starts with preparing my space. Finding a quiet place—somewhere away from noise, distractions, and the busyness of everyday life.
I usually have my Bible close by, and my Rosary is always within reach—either in my hand (especially when praying the Rosary) or around my neck. I also keep a few prayer books with me, ones that contain some of my favourite prayers. These simple rituals help me settle into a place of reflection and openness.
More than words
Before diving into prayer, I take a moment to quiet my mind. I typically begin with the Our Father, grounding myself in the words Jesus taught us. I also say the Hail Mary, in honour of our Blessed Mother.
When my husband and I pray together, we always start by asking the Holy Spirit to guide us. One of our favourite opening prayers is the Come, Holy Spirit—it sets the tone and invites God’s presence in a very intentional way.
(I’ll be sharing a link to my favourite introductory prayers soon—stay tuned!)
Once I’ve completed my introductory prayers, I take time to thank God. Gratitude is a big part of my prayer life, and I try to express it early on—thanking God for His blessings, His protection, and His constant love.
I don’t have a set prayer that I say for my husband every day. I prefer to pray as the Holy Spirit leads. Some days, I’ll find myself praying about something I hadn’t even planned or thought about—and I truly believe that’s the Holy Spirit at work. As Scripture says, the Holy Spirit searches the hearts and minds of men (Romans 8:27), and sometimes prompts us to lift up prayers we didn’t even know needed to be said.
Some days, my prayers are simply ones of thanksgiving. On other days, I might find myself praying for something specific—a need, a decision, or a challenge we’re facing. Other times, I ask for God’s protection over my husband, or for godly wisdom to guide him. It really depends on what’s going on in our lives at that moment.
My prayers also tend to be very conversational. After all, I’m talking to my loving Father. I approach Him as His child, and I acknowledge Him as my Father—always present, always listening. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to pray. There’s no perfect formula or structure.
Everything I’ve shared in this post is simply what works for me, personally. It’s how I’ve found the most meaningful connection in prayer.
If you’re not sure where to start, I’d recommend trying different approaches. Maybe begin with some written or scripted prayers for your spouse. And over time, you may find yourself praying more freely, without needing any prayer aids at all. Let the Holy Spirit guide your growth in prayer—it’s a journey, not a checklist.
As a little side note, I do try to pray the Rosary for my husband at least once a week. I’ll be honest—it’s not always easy to find the time or the stillness to do it, but when I do, it brings me such comfort and assurance. That’s the power of the Rosary!
Praying together as husband and Wife
I’d also really encourage you to pray together as husband and wife. There’s something profoundly powerful about shared prayer in marriage. Jesus reminds us of this in Matthew 18:20:
“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in their midst.”
Just take that in for a moment. When you and your spouse come together in prayer, Jesus is literally present in your midst. What a beautiful image. What a sacred invitation.
One of my favourite examples of a couple praying together comes from the Book of Tobit. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend reading Tobit Chapter 8. It gives us a beautiful and humble example of how spouses can approach God in prayer—together, united, and sincere.
I’ll end with a verse from that very passage. It’s taken from the prayer Tobias and Sarah said on their wedding night. Their words are so filled with love, reverence, and a desire to honour God in their marriage:
Tobit 8:4
“Blessed are you, O God of our ancestors, and blessed is your name in all generations forever. Let the heavens and the whole creation bless you forever. You made Adam and you made his wife Eve to be a helper and support. From these two the human race has come. You said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; let us make him a helper like himself.’ Now, Lord, I take this wife of mine not because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that she and I may find mercy and grow old together.”
I also encourage you to listen to Day 195 of the Bible in a Year podcast with Fr. Mike Schmitz, where he talks about the power of praying as a married couple—it’s such a rich and affirming message.
There’s a particular line I love from Tobit 8:7 that resonates so deeply with me:
“And now I am taking this kinswoman as my wife, not out of lust, but with sincere love.”
To me, this is what marriage is meant to be—a union birthed in love, not lust. It’s a relationship grounded in sincerity, commitment, and a shared desire to walk with God.
Final Thoughts
So, if you’ve ever wondered whether it’s okay to pray for a spouse—the answer is a wholehearted yes. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with bringing your desires, hopes, and needs before God, especially when it comes to something as sacred and life-changing as marriage.
Praying for a spouse, and later praying with your spouse, is a beautiful way to invite God into your relationship from the very beginning. It’s not about being perfect or having the “right” words—it’s about being open, intentional, and trusting that the God who knows your heart hears your prayers.
Whether you’re still waiting for your future spouse, newly married, or years into your journey, keep prayer at the centre. Be honest with God. Be specific. And be patient. He delights in giving good gifts to His children—gifts that bless not just us, but everyone our lives touch.
Marriage is a journey. It has its highs and lows, joys and challenges. But when two people are committed not only to each other but also to growing in faith together, there’s something truly powerful about that union. As Scripture says, “A cord of three strands is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12).
So keep praying. Keep hoping. And keep trusting. God is always working—sometimes quietly, sometimes suddenly—but always faithfully.